Fruits From The Roots Therapists Answers Your Questions

Blue Question Mark in a purple background.

 

Feeling lost or overwhelmed by mental health concerns? You’re not alone. Millions of people grapple with questions about therapy, anxiety, depression, and navigating relationships. This blog is your one-stop shop for clear and supportive answers, straight from licensed therapists. We’ll tackle frequently asked questions in a friendly and informative way, so you can feel empowered about your mental health journey.  And if something specific is on your mind, don’t hesitate to send us your questions – we’re here to help!

Cibelly Zedan answering:

“Hi FFR,

I feel frustrated and angry all the time! I know this maybe be a small thing but the other day my neighbour’s teenage son wouldn’t stop playing music really loud during the day when I typically sleep (I work nights) and I wanted to tell him to lower the volume but I didn’t because I thought it would be a violation of his space but it was infuriating and I found that I had the urge to just punch something! But I’m not a violent person and I worry that there’s something wrong with me. 

From

Worried to Lash Out!”

Hello,

We appreciate you reaching out and sharing your feelings.

It’s important to acknowledge your anger and frustration as valid emotional responses. These feelings could be signs that something is bothering you and exploring these emotions can contribute to self-awareness.

We appreciate that is hard to deal with some feelings; However, anger is a natural emotion, and it does not necessarily indicate that there is something wrong with you. What really matter, is the way we can handle these feelings.

Regarding the self-awareness mentioned above, it would be helpful for you to reflect on where these feeling is coming from and how it affects your daily function. This reflection can give you some answers about you having the anger and frustration feelings all the time. Other than that, you can also explore relaxation techniques such as meditation and deep breathing to support you in managing stress levels.

As natural emotions, many people face challenges with anger and frustration. Remember that you don’t have to go through all this alone! If anytime you feel you cannot handle these feelings on your own or that is being challenging doing it by yourself, seek professional support. There is a variety of therapists with different recourses and strategies that can support you throughout this difficult situation.

Fruitfully,

Cibelly Zedan

Kamakshi Marwah answering:

“Hey Fruits From The Roots,

I really like that you started this column! Anyways I just started a new job and I have two kids in elementary school. To say the least getting ready in the morning is a nightmare. I feel scattered and lost but I want to be calm and collected so I’m not overwhelmed before work. But by the time I drop the kids off and arrive at work I’m anxious and I feel like I can’t think straight. Then I feel like I’m not doing my job well because it’s hard for me to concentrate and I just feel like if my morning started off better, then I may have a better day at work. 

Thank you for reaching out to us.

Congratulations on your new job!

It sounds like you’re going through quite a bit at the moment. I want to acknowledge that feeling overwhelmed and scattered is entirely normal, especially during significant transitions like starting a new job while managing a family. Your feelings are valid, and it’s essential to recognize and honor them.

It’s great that you’re aware of the importance of starting your day on the right foot and how it can impact your overall well-being.

Mornings can set the tone for the entire day, and it’s understandable that a chaotic morning can lead to increased stress and reduced focus.

Let’s explore this further together. As we delve into this, I’d like you to consider a few things:

1. Your Ideal Morning: Reflect on how you’d like to start your day. What activities or routines would bring you a sense of peace and readiness? Visualizing your ideal morning can help you set intentions.

Consider establishing a morning routine that allows you some quiet time for yourself before the kids wake up. This could include meditation, light exercise, or simply enjoying a cup of coffee or tea in peace. Even just 15-30 minutes of self-care can make a significant difference in how you feel throughout the day.

2. Managing Family Dynamics: With young children in the picture, it’s natural to feel a lot of responsibility. Think about how you can involve your kids in the morning routine. Could they be encouraged to take on some tasks independently, like getting dressed or preparing simple breakfast items? Or preparing lunches and laying out clothes the night before can save you valuable time and reduce morning stress.

3. Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness techniques to manage your anxiety. Deep breathing exercises or a brief meditation session before work can help centre your thoughts and reduce anxiety. There is an app called Insight timer, which also allows you to do five minutes of meditation. Once you have dropped the kids to school, just before you start your work, try this technique.

Remember, you’re not alone in this journey, and seeking support is a sign of strength. If you have more thoughts or concerns, you’d like to share, please feel free to do so. We’re here to support you on this path to a more balanced and peaceful morning routine.

Fruitfully

Kamakshi Marwah

Sandra Graham answering:

“Hi Fruits From The Roots,

Early last year, my mom died suddenly. To say that I was rattled would be a big understatement! It’s a New Year and I just want to be able to accept her passing and move forward because I know that’s what she would want for me. However, I find myself thinking about her all the time and then worrying about my own death. It’s so bad I often don’t get my work for the day completed and then I feel ashamed and guilty. Can you help me?

Dear Grieving Person,

We are sorry to hear about the sudden loss of your beloved mother. We understand that this is a difficult and sad experience for you. When we experience the sudden loss of someone we love, it can be very challenging to maintain our emotional balance. It is natural for our primary focus and energy to be directed toward maintaining a sense of stability for ourselves as we mourn and try to process the loss.

We understand that this experience can cause you to become overly fixated on the loss of your mother, causing other important aspects of life such as your work to take a backseat. Focusing solely on this loss can take a toll on your emotional and psychological well-being. Therefore, we suggest giving yourself the time and space you need to process your emotions.

While it is normal to ask yourself many questions during this time of grief, including “Why am I feeling this way?” “Why am I not able to cope?” “Am I caring for myself properly during this difficult time?” “What can I do to make myself feel better?”, you may want to seek professional help as you grieve the loss of your mother.

Furthermore, since this experience is interfering with your work and day-to-day life, we encourage you to book an appointment to talk to one of our therapists. They can provide you with the support you need to explore your emotions in a safe way as you grieve and teach you some strategies to manage and express your feelings so that you can move forward. Please know that we are here to support you during this difficult time, so don’t hesitate to reach out for additional support.

Fruitfully,

Sandra Graham

Kamakshi Marwah answering:

“Hi FFR,

I’ve been married to my husband for 4 years and he is ready to start a family. The issue is while I love him very much, I am not ready to become pregnant- Emotionally, mentally, and physically, I’m just not there yet. I’m at a pivotal point in my career and I enjoy the freedom of traveling, which an all come to a halt if I have a child. However, I worry that my marriage can end if I don’t get pregnant soon. What can be done here?

Thank you for contacting Fruits from the Roots.

It sounds like you are navigating some inner emotions, and I want to assure you that you’re not alone in this journey. In fact, it’s entirely normal to feel conflicted when facing significant life decisions, especially when they involve balancing personal desires, career aspirations, and the dynamics of your relationship.

First and foremost, I want to acknowledge the depth of your feelings and the validity of your concerns. Your career and the freedom of traveling are undoubtedly important aspects of your life, and it’s completely understandable that you would want to maintain a sense of autonomy and fulfillment in these areas.

However, it’s also essential to consider how starting a family may impact these aspects of your life and whether there are ways to find a balance that honours both your personal and professional aspirations.

Enhancing communication skills can help you and your husband navigate this challenging conversation with empathy and understanding.

Practice active listening, empathy, and assertive communication to express your feelings and concerns effectively while also listening to your husband’s perspective without judgment.

Through open and honest dialogue, we can develop strategies for effective communication with your husband, set realistic expectations, and ultimately make decisions that align with your needs and desires.

I believe it’s crucial for us to delve deeper into your feelings of readiness or unreadiness to become pregnant. This involves exploring the emotional, mental, and physical factors contributing to your hesitation, as well as any underlying fears or anxieties that may be influencing your thoughts and decisions.

Consider seeking couples therapy to explore these issues in a safe and supportive environment. A therapist can help facilitate open and honest communication, validate both partners’ perspectives, and work towards mutually satisfactory solutions.

Therapy can also provide you with tools and strategies for managing conflicts, strengthening emotional intimacy, and making informed decisions about your relationship and family planning.

Remember, your well-being is important, and we can support you every step of the way

Fruitfully,

Kamakshi Marwah

Brett Robinson answering:

“Hey FFTR

Lately I’ve been like I have little to no interest in the things or people that used to make me feel good. I just feel “blah.” I dont know if this is just winter blues or something more. I was going to talk to my boyfriend about it but I really dont want to make a big deal out of it because it may be nothing. It’s just hard because I can’t just shake the feeling off. What do you think?

Thanks so much for reaching out to us. Sorry to hear that you’ve been feeling like that lately. I can tell you that it is a common feeling for many people, sometimes associated with the “winter blues” as you say, but also outside of these times. It’s tough because it can sort of hang over every part of life. It can lift a little, but it seems to settle back in. It dampens our joyful experiences and can make it feel like our baseline experience each day is down a little.

Something that is helpful both in the short and long terms is to define how “blah” feels for you specifically. Are there parts of your body that “blah” resides in? Does it feel like its across your shoulders, your head, etc.? Are there any colours or images associated with it? Some people imagine it as a wet blanket, others as a weight on their body, etc. If you can imagine it, then we can work with it, in a sense. One client I worked with felt this purple wet blanket across their chest, and we practiced her imagining it lifting off several times per day, and that she would place it in a chest in her bedroom. 

Another thing that you can do is track when the feeling is strongest, and equally important, when you are not feeling like that. Keeping a journal of these feelings and the days/times that they occur could be important, because you can track the trend in your life and possibly see that the feelings coincide with certain activities or times of the day, such as work vs weekends, or morning vs evening.

Overall, you definitely have the ability to work yourself out of these feelings. Identifying any memories associated with them, any images, and if you feel them in certain parts of your body will definitely help. Tracking when they occur can help determine if they are associated with parts of your life, times of the day, and other factors such as these.

Please feel free to let me know how you’re progressing with those suggestions and any other thoughts and feelings you’re having. I’m also happy to schedule a session at any point and support you through this process.

Fruitfully,

Brett Robinson

Kamakshi Marwah answering:

“Dear FFR,

For the past 10 years my friend and I have done so many things together. We’ve supported each other throughout University, various relationship break ups, and even a wedding and subsequent divorce. She’s really my best friend. However, I’ve recently had a baby and I feel like my friend and I have drifted apart. We barely talk because I’m too tired after caring for a baby all day. I feel like there’s a lot happening in her life but I don’t feel included because she barely calls or visits me anymore and I barely have time to hang out so she’s stopped inviting me to things. I miss my friend but I also don’t know what to do about it. I feel abandoned and lonely.  Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your experience with us.

It sounds like you’re navigating a significant transition in your life with the arrival of your baby. I can sense that your friendship holds immense importance to you, having been a pillar of support through various phases of your life. However, this new phase of motherhood has understandably consumed much of your attention and energy as you navigate the demands of caring for your baby. Making it challenging to maintain the same level of connection with your friend.

Transitioning into motherhood is a beautiful yet intense experience. It often involves a redirection of focus and priorities, leaving little time and energy for other aspects of life, including maintaining friendships. Your emotions might fluctuate as you adjust to these changes, and it’s completely normal to feel a sense of longing for the connection you had with your friend.

Considering the constraints of time and exhaustion, reaching out to your friend might seem daunting. If direct communication feels challenging at the moment, exploring alternative means such as sending a heartfelt voice note or email could be a constructive way to express your thoughts and emotions.

Validating the importance of your friendship while acknowledging the current limitations you’re experiencing might help bridge the emotional gap. Expressing to your friend that even though you may not be as emotionally available right now, you still cherish the bond you share and are willing to offer support in any way possible could be reassuring for both of you. Sometimes, validating each other’s feelings and acknowledging the changes can strengthen the foundation of a friendship.

Remember, this period of adjustment and adaptation is temporary, and as you settle into the rhythms of parenthood, there might be opportunities to reconnect and rekindle the friendship.

 Prioritizing self-care amidst the demands of caring for your baby is also essential in managing the emotional toll this transition might bring.

Take your time and be gentle with yourself. Transitioning into motherhood is a significant life event, and it’s okay to prioritize your well-being and that of your baby during this period of adjustment. 

Your willingness to reach out, even amidst the chaos, speaks volumes about the value you place on your friendship.

Feel free to explore these suggestions and adapt them to your comfort level as you navigate this phase of your life.

If you have further thoughts or feelings you’d like to discuss, we’re here to offer support and guidance.

Fruitfully,

Kamakshi Marwah

Disclaimer: We believe in the power of collective story sharing as it can be reassuring to know that we are not alone in our difficulties. However, please note that this blog is for information purposes only. Content, context, and names have been altered and/or removed to maintain confidentiality and privacy, while the overall presenting issue remains the same. The responses shared do not serve as a formal assessment, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need mental health support, then you are encouraged to book a session with a trained Mental Health Professional and/or call 911 immediately if you are in immediate danger.